“Dear gentlemen on dating websites…”

A friend of mine wrote and posted the following message to Facebook, and I laughed so hard that I just had to share it—especially given my recent posts about singles in the church. Enjoy.

Dear gentlemen of online dating websites, a few things:

1. Please use your own picture. Photos of your nieces/nephews/cousins in lieu of yourself is kind of creepy.

2. I like dogs (canines, not jerks), but I’m assuming you are a human and probably not a dog. A picture of you is nice. Pictures of you and your dog = bonus.

3. If one of your profile pictures is of your gun (actual firearm), no.

4. An ironic duck face picture can say something about your playfulness and sense of humor. Multiple pictures of only duck face says a lot about a lot else.

5. “Hey,” “‘Sup?”, pokes, winks, nudges, smiles, etc., aren’t conversation.

6. If you send me a message, please have some information about yourself on your profile.

7. To the occasional ladies that contact me, I’m pretty sure you’re robots. I’m not a robosexual.

8. I like coffee, conversation, and kind gentlemen. Go for it.